Emotions From Our Past Associated with Money
An article by Chip Engelman
An article by Chip Engelman
More difficult are the emotions from our past that we have
associated with money. These feelings, which often lie buried
and deeply embedded in our identity, may range from fear and
doubt to shame and low self-esteem. The most efficient thing to
do is to “take them out” as they arise. And they will.
Each time a limiting feeling arises, try to recall an incident or
image that evokes this emotion. Use EFT to work through the
emotion, and be thorough. It is important to address every
emotional aspect of the incident. Here’s where you may need
the help of an EFT practitioner.
For example, my wife Julie noticed she had a certain feeling
when she would see the things she most wanted: “I can’t have
that.” Naturally, there’s a core issue behind this feeling, but let’s
say this feeling is as much as she knows so far. She thinks,
“When did I feel this way as a kid?” An incident readily comes
The fourth and youngest child in her family, at about eight years
old Julie’s selection of hand-me-down clothes ranks her as less
than cool. She is in the store with her mother and ogles a pair of
cut-off blue-jean shorts. Her mom unexpectedly says, “Oh,
those are on a good sale. We can get them if you like.” Julie’s
heart soars. Her mom has never bought her something cool
before; this is a first-in-a-lifetime event. To Julie, it means she
might feel “normal” like the other kids for the first time.
Trembling with anticipation and holding the shorts all the way
to checkout, she can almost taste the elated feeling of being
accepted. The checkout lady rings up a price Mom didn’t
expect, and says the shorts were mis-marked. Partly out of
frugality and partly out of righteous principles, Mom insists on
putting the shorts back. Julie is crushed.
Julie learned several “lessons” from this incident.
• She can’t have what she wants
• Don’t even bother asking
• Principles are more important than she is
• She doesn’t deserve things
• There is not enough money for her
• The world is a hard place to be
From this set of lessons that Julie accepted as true, we can get to
a number of emotions that Julie might tap on:
• sadness at having lost the shorts so she couldn’t fit in
with the other kids
• powerlessness that her mother put them back
• anger at her mother for putting them back
• shame for not being enough to deserve the shorts
• shame for not being as important as principles
• disappointment that the world is unfriendly
We can use EFT to diffuse this core event by tapping on each
Even though I’m sad that I didn’t get the shorts, and I really
wanted them so I could fit in with the other kids, I deeply and
completely accept myself.
Even though I was powerless and couldn’t do anything to help
myself, I deeply and completely accept myself.
And so on. As Julie taps on these phrases and clears them out,
other issues might come forward that weren’t obvious before:
• I’m ashamed that I’m not good enough to get what other kids have
• I’m angry that my parents didn’t teach me that I could earn what I want
• I’m bitter that my mother didn’t care about my needs
• I’m sad that I wasn’t worth the expense to my parents
And the kicker - a core issue behind the core event:
• I’m sad that my mom didn’t want four kids and couldn’t handle us
• I’m ashamed that I’m such a burden
• I’m sad that I don’t deserve to get what I want
• I’m sad that I believe I’m not worth anything
And so on.
As these issues clear, Julie remembers a lot of good things that
her parents gave her. She gains an understanding of the
circumstances that her parents were in. She feels a sense of
peace and resolution about the whole thing so she can move on.
Chip Engelman : The Born Loser's Guide to Abundance